58: How To Love Yourself RICH

Transcript

Meaghan Smith  00:20

Hello, beautiful people. And welcome to another episode of the money mindful Podcast. I am your host, Meaghan Jean Smith, I'm a life coach for women, and I help you create the extraordinary life you want to live on purpose. I was actually chatting with someone the other day over lunch. And they were asking me about how I describe what I do. And I, I just said, Well, I basically help you get your shit together. That's doesn't have the same ring to it as creating an extraordinary life. But when you do have your shit together, and you actually do what you say you're going to do, and you live the life that you want to live. That's pretty extraordinary, don't you think? All right, so today, I want to talk to you about how to love yourself rich. I actually had this lined up to talk to you a bit later some as some episodes down the track. But this has really been apparent in has been showing up for me in my life recently. And also last week, I spoke to you about emotions and money. And love is one of my all time favourite emotions, I love to feel love, feeling loved and loving all of the variations of love. And I couldn't wait to do this episode for you. I had to do it today. So I'm going to bring it forward and doing it do it for you today. So there's a few points I want to bring up with you about this subject. And I'm not going to get all Kumbaya and you're right. So like how to love yourself rich, this is a legitimate thing that you can actually do. So the first thing that I want to talk to you about today is basically what you're doing wrong. Okay? And you're not alone, you're not uniquely a mess. All right? Well, we all do this kind of thing. And I'm going to give you an example of what I've been doing. But basically, we we want to make more money. We all we want to pay off debt, we want to do something in our life to do with money. But we try to hate ourselves to the result. Right? You what you have some debt that you want to get out of, but you punish yourself, you know, you don't let yourself live a normal life or you it's a real thrashing, you know, it's a real beat up to pay the debt off. And I mean it in the literal sense, but also in how we treat ourselves and talk to ourselves in our mind. For example, we won't let ourselves spend any money on anything that might actually make us feel good, or you know, go out to dinner with someone. But then also, we talk about ourselves so badly, like such an idiot for getting into debt. Why did you even get into this debt in the first place? How could you be so stupid is such a bad person for doing this? And then you pay off the debt, right? And then you wonder why you just either go back into debt or that you just have bad feelings about money, because you make it such a negative experience for yourself. Or another example is that you just work yourself to the bone to make more money, you don't even enjoy what you're doing. And then yes, you do make money but you're burnt out. And again, it's

Meaghan Smith  04:24

a negative result, right? Like you've made the money but it's not a good feeling. And you don't feel good about it because you've had to work so hard. And thrash yourself, punish yourself to get to this place financially where you want to be. So basically hating yourself out of debt or burning yourself out to make more money. It's, it doesn't work. Alright, produces a negative result. And it's not just about Money either it can show up in your life in lots of different areas. For example, I mentioned to you in a previous episode that I'd been unwell for quite a few weeks, actually, I'll be honest with you, I was really mean to myself. You know, first of all, I had this idea that I shouldn't have been Sick. And then I got really annoyed with myself for being Sick. And then I would do ridiculous things, like try to work and basically just sit in my office and stare at the computer and not even do anything. Because I was so unwell. Instead of just going to bed and resting and, you know, taking care of myself so I could actually get better. But this is the crazy stuff we do to ourselves, right. So in my illogical thinking, I thought if I just hammered myself and worked more, and didn't take breaks to get the work done that somehow that was good for me that somehow that would help me get better. I mean, I'm laughing now because it's the stupidity of it is so obvious, like when I can look back on it. But in the moment, I really was confused, like, why aren't I getting better? And it was because well, maybe, because I'm wasn't resting.

Meaghan Smith  06:42

And thank goodness, my coach pointed this out to me because I I got my knickers in a knot about it, I really don't like being sick. And so I got coaching on it. But what was really interesting is when I was actually exploring it, and then realised, oh, yeah, I'm being a real asshole to myself, like I'm actually seek. But yet, I'm still making myself work really hard. And, but the result of that is that I wasn't actually getting the result I wanted. Because, you know, for me, I want to be in an optimal state, when I'm working with my clients, I want my business to run really smoothly. Because all those things contribute to my financial success and the success of my business, right? So why is it important to come from a place of love? Okay, this is why and I'm going to relate it to this story of mine of being unwell. As soon as I realised what I was doing, because yes, I am human too. And that is why I have a coach as well, who points out all my blind blind spots is that I was able to be onto myself and realise, okay, I can't hate myself to feel better. punishing myself, because I'm Sick doesn't work, and is really ridiculous when when you become aware of it, right? So straightaway, I looked for all the ways that I could just really come from a place of love and really nurture myself and take care of myself. And you might have noticed, if you're someone who follows me on social media, I basically just dropped off social media for nearly a month, I was just posting things that I needed to that I'd already had scheduled and things like that to promote the podcast. But I just paid everything back and just rested and took rest every single day, and only showed up for the things that were really, really important, such as my client meetings, and I work from home. So that's something that's totally available to me, I can rest and look after my body and then have a few client sessions, and then go back and rest. And what was really amazing about that is that when you come from a place of love, and this is why it's so important. It fuels you and it gives you more energy and motivation. Right. And the really funny thing was is when I stopped trying to work really hard.

Meaghan Smith  09:33

Did you know that I have created a new client, I created a new client every week, in those weeks that I was sick. When I was doing basically next to no social media. I wasn't going on live. I wasn't interacting with you guys. I was just getting the podcast out. And I was just giving, you know 110% to my clients that I actually see And that was it. But during that time I generated more business and got more clients. Isn't that amazing? And the difference is, it's really a mind shift. But when you're in that energy of being really negative and mean to yourself, because, Look, I know you do this, all right, because so many of us do, we were so mean to ourselves, and we try to hate ourselves to a particular result, like whether that be financially or, you know, losing weight or getting a result at work. It's like, we think that if we beat ourselves up, somehow, that's going to get us to the result that we want. If we make ourselves feel bad for being in debt, there may be we'll never go into debt again. But it doesn't work like that. Because then we just feel so negative about the topic in general. Right, like then, because if I'd kept going that way, like beating myself up about being sick, I wish I would have just felt so bad about my business, and feeling resentful, and having to show up for my clients. And I totally do not want to feel like that, right? But when I came from this place of like, What can I do for my body, that is really going to just be really nurturing right now and help my body get better and get over this virus. And when I did that, it's just uncanny that I ended up getting more clients from doing that from working less, but from doing it from a place of love. Okay, so if you can relate to this, and you find that you're in this position, like, either you're trying to pay off debt, or you're trying to make more money in your business, or you're trying to go in a different direction at work, get a promotion, or something like that, but you, from what I've just said, You're realising that this is something you do try to hate yourself to the result. This, this is how you turn it around, okay? How you can do it, how to come from a place of love how to love yourself rich or how to love yourself to a result is start by asking great questions to yourself. And here are some things that you can ask. So things like, how can I make this more fun? Whatever it is, right? You apply it to what it is for you. So for example, if it's paying off debt, how can I make this more fun? How can I make choices that benefit me and everyone around me at the same time? This is such a good one. Because just like I was telling you the example of being unwell. You know, when I asked myself this question, straightaway, it totally makes sense. Rest, that that's what it was for me like rest that will benefit me. It will benefit my family, it will benefit all my clients that I see during the week. I had it's such an obvious action to take, when you ask yourself that, that question. Okay, the next one is, what do I love about this? Whatever it is, like, I'll fill in the blank, right? Like, what do I love about paying off this debt? Or what do I love about my business right now? What do I love about this investment? Like just getting your attention on what you love about the situation? What do I love about my job? Like, that's just such a great one to shift your attention from what's not working, and what you're hating about it to what you love about it, and focusing on that. And another really good one is what can I do to feel my emotions instead of spending money today? Or I could have when I was sick, what, what can I do to feel my emotions instead of feeling sorry for myself?

Meaghan Smith  14:25

Right, but don't stop there. The questions are great to get your brain thinking, but actually answer the questions and then do it. So one of the things that I did a while ago now and actually come to think of it I should do a podcast episode on this because I think it would really help you but I wrote down 10 ways that I can just really love my business. And that was such a great activity for me to do because I came up with tangible things that I can Do that really help my business? And that I do, and that really do help my business? And it's just putting yourself in that mindset of looking for those answers. You know, how can I do this from a place of love? How can I do this thing? Whatever it is, like, how can I make choices that benefit me and all the people around me? How can I make this even better. So it's very subtle, in terms of just working on your mindset. But the results, like the example I just gave you from being so unwell, and yet generating so many new clients in that period of time, and not doing any marketing, apart from what I do on the podcast, just talking to you guys. But I just wasn't out there, I wasn't engaging with people, because I wasn't up to it. Right. But yet, I really once I turned it around, I was really looking after myself, I ended up creating more revenue for my business. And it's such a nicer way to do it as well and so much more enjoyable. But the end result is is that I make more money, but I do it from a place of feeling happy, and actually being really kind to myself and nice to myself, instead of doing it from this place of being mean. You know, I just can relate to that. Because I can be so mean to myself at times. And I just think this is a really important point to share with you. Because I for sure know that you've experienced this before, you know, well, we get this idea that if we kind of nasty to ourselves that somehow going to solve the problem, but it never ever does. So just in summary. Basically, if you want to make more money, you're not going to do it by hating yourself there by hating yourself to paying off debt by burning yourself out to get a result because you're only going to end up with a negative experience. And even if you do end up making the money, you're not going to feel good about it. So that's why it's really important to come from a place of love because it fuels you and it gives you more energy and motivation. And the way that you can do that is first by starting to ask yourself really great questions like what I just went over with you, but then actually answering the questions, and then taking action on your answers and following through. So like I said, if you're experiencing something like me, and you're feeling sick, but you've running a business, it's like okay, well what can I do? from a place of love that has a great benefit for myself and all of those around me? Or if you're working on a financial goal. It's like how can I make this more fun? Okay, I hope that has helped you today. I've only got a few more episodes coming out this year, it's almost Christmas. How is that even possible? So I'll, I'll update you closer. But I'll be podcasting up until Christmas week. And then I'm taking a couple of weeks off, but I'll let you know when it's the last episode for the year. But I think we've just I've just got maybe two more, or three more I can't remember off the top of my head. I'm not looking at today's date.

Meaghan Smith  18:42

As always, if you would like help taking this work further, if you want to learn how to love yourself rich and you would like help doing that. You can book a consultation with me it's really easy to do and the consultation is actually really fun. It's a chance for you to tell me all about yourself and I help you make decisions and work on what results you want even just in the consultation before you started working with me. So I really encourage you that if you want to learn how to do these actually love yourself rich, reach out, get in touch and if you can't get a time with me on the consultation schedule or on my website, you can always email me at Meaghan@moneymindful.com.au Okay, until next time, have a beautiful week. Bye Bye.