75: Three Truths To Stop Overspending

Today, I'm going to help you  stop overspending.  If you are an over spender, and want some help with this, I'm going to tell you three truths about this, that you can use to deepen your awareness and STOP OVER-SPENDING.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Why you are over spending
  • The reason you overspend is because you have a human brain doing what human brains do- What the?
  • Having more willpower or discipline is not the solution
  • How to use your brain to work with you not against you
  • The quickest way to stop over spending

You can listen to the episode above or read the unedited transcript below.

Transcript

Meaghan Smith  00:20

Hello beautiful people and welcome to another episode of the Money Mindful Podcast. I am your host Meaghan Jean Smith. I'm a money mindset and life coach for women. I help women get over themselves, I help them get over all their obstacles. I help them manage their mind so they can create the life that they want. Today, I'm going to help you with three truths to stop overspending, I'm going to help you if you are an over spender, and you want some help with this, I'm going to tell you three truths about this that you can use to deepen your awareness and stop overspending. But first, I have a little favour to ask you. If you are a regular listener, and you are enjoying the show, or you are a new listener, welcome. And this is the first show that you have ever listened to. I would be so grateful if you could leave a review for the podcast. Reviews help people find the show. And it's also something that people look at when they're discovering a new show to make a decision on whether to listen to it or not. So if you are really enjoying it, it would be so amazing if you could leave me a review and or tell your friends about it. Share this podcast with the people that you love, if it has helped you, for sure it is going to help the people or the people in your life. And it would be amazing if you would share it with them.

Meaghan Smith  02:09

Alright, let's get into the show. Three truths to stop overspending. Let me break it down what I'm going to help you with today. So the first truth is, the reason you overspend is because you have a human brain doing what human brains do. Right? There's nothing wrong with you. We think we just don't have enough willpower or discipline, right. That's what people generally think. That's why they overspend. That's why they get to the end of the month or the week and they have no money. Or like, some people just generally don't know, they don't know where their money goes, they don't have awareness around it, okay. But if you find that you are spending more money than you have, I just want to let you know that nothing is wrong with you, your brain is working perfectly. And here is what's going on. So one of the concepts that we learn when you become certified as a life coach, I mean, I'm sure the psychologists listening and people in those kinds of fields will know what I'm talking about. There's something called the motivational triad. And what that means is when it comes to the humans, that's us, we are motivated, we were motivated to seek pleasure to avoid pain, and to conserve energy, like be efficient. All right, so when you Well, let me tell you a little bit about a bit a little bit more about this. So that's in terms of our survival, right? So it makes sense to seek pleasure. Because when we eat food, right, and we find that pleasurable, we stay alive and drink water and have sex we procreate, right? These are it. When you look at it from that framework, it really makes sense that we would seek pleasure, okay, in terms of staying alive, and then avoiding pain. While that's pretty obvious right,

Meaghan Smith  04:33

it's like, don't touch that hot thing, you'll burn yourself. Don't upset that person because you might get dumped from the group and lose your friends. And, you know, in the times of our ancestors that actually made a big difference, right? If we got ousted from the group that could really literally mean our survival. These days, it does not mean that. But in terms of just living your life in a way that keeps you alive and sustains you avoiding pain is something that is helpful towards that now being efficient, conserving energy, well, look at your, if you have pets, look at your dog, or your cat, they do the same thing. They sleep all day, they conserve their energy for when they actually need it for when it's required. And we do the same thing, we do exactly the same thing. Now that I've told you this, you might notice it more in in your life and in your behaviour. So how does this apply to shopping and overspending? Well, when we buy something, when we get that instant gratification, we feel good, we get a little hit, we get a little dopamine hit of Oh, I've got a new dress. So Oh, look at my amazing brand new car, whatever it is, or I feel so good. Now that I've just had that smoothie that I've bought, while I'm out shopping, whatever it is, often we get a little boost a little hit of a feel good feeling. When we buy something, it's the same with food. You know, when we eat something, we get that instant gratification, that our urge our desire, it's been satisfied. And when you look at the motivational triad makes sense, right? We're seeking pleasure. It's something that gives us pleasure. So it is understandable that that's what we do that we we go for the instant gratification, we seek pleasure. We do things that make us feel good. And often we we think that if we overspend or if we do something in in the moment, it's that we think that we don't have enough willpower or discipline. No, that's not the case. It's the way that our brain is wired. So if you haven't made a decision ahead of time that you're not going to spend your money, your lizard brain or your primitive brain or whatever you that part of your brain, you want to call it that is connected in with that motivational triad, seek pleasure, avoid pain, conserve energy, that part of you is just going to kick in. Okay, so it's the instinct, gratification, seek pleasure, buy the thing, purchase the makeup, right? Look good fit in with the group feel better about myself, I deserve it, right? I'm sure you can relate to what I'm saying. So there's nothing wrong with you. The only problem is if you have had no awareness of this, that's where we get into trouble. Because we just find ourselves overspending and we don't know why. Right? And this is why this is the reason we overspend because we have a human brain doing what human brains do. So what can we do about it? Well, truth two is that you can override the part of your brain that currently leads you to overspending.

Meaghan Smith  08:16

Don't think I'm smarter than I am when I start talking about this stuff. But basically, we have a prefrontal cortex. And that's just the part of our brain that distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom, it means we can make decisions ahead of time. Right, we can make a decision ahead of time when we go to the shopping centre, that we have a budget of $80, or that when we go to the supermarket, we're only going to buy the things that are on the shopping list. Now, that is, that's the part of our brain that we can tap into, and use to create the results that we want. But many of us don't tap into that part of the brain. We just it's it's not that were you know, not thinking or but it's just we haven't intentionally made that decision for ourselves and then committed to it. I'll tell you this morning, this exact thing happened for me. Daylight Savings has kicked in here in Australia, and it's light again in the morning. I haven't I haven't been going for my walks in the morning because I don't like walking in the dark. And now it's light again at the time that I can go walking. And I woke up earlier than usual this morning. And the thought passed through my mind that I could go for a walk now. But the primitive part of my brain just was totally kicked in. I was like, No, no, it's a much better idea to just stay lying in bed. And cuddle up to Dasher, right dasher is my dog. conserve energy, avoid pain, like don't go out and exercise, seek pleasure. It's much nicer in the bed. It's so snuggly. Now normally, I wouldn't have any problem getting up and going for a walk. And the reason why is because I make decisions ahead of time. Like usually, if I was going to go for a walk, I would set up, I would just chuck my runners and my shorts, on the dresser in my bedroom and have it ready. And in the morning, I would already know that's why I'm waking up early. That's what I'm going to do. And I would just do it, because I've made the decision ahead of time. But because I hadn't made the decision ahead of time, I really had a fight with myself like this morning. I mean, that sounds so dramatic. But what I mean is, is that my lizard brain won out, right because I hadn't used my prefrontal cortex I hadn't decided ahead of time and I was like walk or stay in bed snuggled up to my dog, obviously, I'm gonna stay in bed snuggled up to my dog. Now the point two have this second truth is that we're motivated by the way we think we're going to feel. Okay, think back to that motivational triad, the seek pleasure. And if we're not deliberately deciding and thinking ahead of time, our default it's human nature, we all do it, I do it, you do it, we all do it. We're motivated by how we think we're going to feel. And in our society, in Western society, where most of my listeners are based, we are taught and we we grow up thinking that the goal of life is to be happy. So if we don't feel happy, then there's something wrong with us. And this ties in to spending money. Because we think when we spend money on something, that we are going to feel better, that whatever it is, is going to give us a good feeling. You know, if we buy ourselves a new outfit for work, we're going to feel better, and we deserve it, right? But in that moment, in that moment of instant gratification of wanting to feel good about ourselves, we are disconnected from our overall goals of our life, like it might be worth saving for a house. And, you know, in that moment, we see that outfit and think, yes, that looks amazing. I look amazing, I need to buy it. And we seek that instant gratification. But what we forget about in that moment is the long term well being that we desire for our life, with things where actually if we don't buy the outfit, in the moment, in that actual moment, we're not going to feel great, we're not

Meaghan Smith  13:14

going to get that hit of all look at me, I feel great, I've got this new outfit, we're going to feel like we're missing out on something or we're lacking or we're restricting ourselves in some way. And but by buying it, we miss out on the long term, well being this stuff is so fascinating. And if you haven't explored it, I really encourage you to because this leads me to the third truth like how do you override your brain? And how do you make decisions intentionally and actually stick to them? Like trust yourself that you're going to stick to them have a really connected relationship with yourself that you know that you have full authority over your money, and that money doesn't just slip through your fingers or you don't just overspend? The third truth is coaching is the most effective way to override your default brain and create a better life for yourself. Because no one is immune to their own blind spots.

Meaghan Smith  14:20

We all have them. And I would hazard a guess I would bet that if you are currently overspending, you don't even know why you're doing it. Right? It's just happening to you like it's something that you can't control like, you just happen to get this big bill. Right. This is the stuff that we tell ourselves when we don't have an awareness of our life, what we think what we create what we do, we just operate on default. Now nothing wrong with you. If you do that, it just means you have Haven't been shown another way. And even if you have been shown another way, everybody has blind spots that we we do behaviours on automatic if we haven't examined them, you might be thinking, of course she's telling us we need a coach, right? She's a coach. But look, do you need a coach? No, you don't? Okay? Do you want a coach? Fuck yeah, you want to coach. Like it's just like a coach for athletes or a personal trainer. But in this case, it's your own mental health, your own mental wealth that you're working on, right. So when you have somebody that you're working with, who can help you identify this stuff, a coach will point out all the things that you are doing that a creating these behaviours that you're doing. And overspending is just a symptom of basically not knowing how to manage your brain, right? Like, you're just you, people overspend for a whole gamut of reasons, it could be because you don't feel good enough. And you feel like you need material things. You think that material things will make you feel good enough, like having a nice car or wearing good clothes, or renting in an area that you can't afford? We think that these are the things that make us feel good, right? Think back to the motivational triad like the seeking pleasure, but they're not. It's not those things that create how we feel. It's how we think that creates how we feel. And when you are a master of your brain, and your thoughts, not the other way around, you have so much more agency on what you create in your life. Right, you're able to create a life where you are intentionally in control of what you're doing, and not the other way around. You're not at the effect of your lizard brain, so to speak, running the show and overriding things for you. So you feel like you're out of control, right? You feel like you don't know why you never have enough money. And you sort of get to the end of the month and you can't figure it out.

Meaghan Smith  17:28

Or it's like a slow progression you. It's like you're not that bad with your money. But it just seems to add up and suddenly you get yourself in debt. And you're like, How did this happen? Or there's just nothing leftover, like you don't get into debt, but you're not saving any money or using your money in a deliberate and intentional way to create the things that you want. And you think that you the things that you want aren't available to you. And all of that is possible to change with a coach. Now, it's not the only way that you can change. Absolutely not like I'm not saying it's like the be end and end all. But it's an effective way to do it. And it's the quickest way that I know. And that I have used to change my brain to create a life intentionally, I can tell you now that overspending is something that is, it's totally available to you to change. Like that is not something that you have to do. And it kills me when I speak to people. I've had people who want to work with me, because that's where they're stuck. You know, they earn plenty of money, but they spend all their money, and it causes them so much suffering. And they don't know how to get a grip on it. Right. And I want to tell you that it's there is another way and you can totally change that is completely available to you. And I really strongly encouraged you to work with somebody

Meaghan Smith  19:16

get help get a coach to help you learn how to manage your brain so that you can live intentionally. And you can do it in a way where you have agency and you feel in control. So on that note, I would love to invite you if this is something that interests you and that you would like to take further. I'd like to invite you to book a consultation call with me. A consultation call is completely no obligation. It's a one hour call with me, where you get to tell me everything that you're struggling with all the issues that you're having and the problems that you're struggling To overcome on your own right, like nothing wrong with you, it's just you haven't been able to figure out how to work out this stuff on your own. And then we talk about exactly where you want to be, like the life that you want to create how, how you want to be living in alignment with your values. And this isn't just to do with money, it's to do with your whole life. And then like a doctor, when you go to the doctor, and you've got some illness, and you tell them what your problem is, and what what you'd like to where you'd like to be instead, then I give you a diagnosis, so to speak, and I give you a plan for exactly how to reach the goals that you are going for your dream life. And whether you end up working with me or not, that in itself is incredibly valuable. to just have that awareness of spending that one hour on yourself, of being able to find out like talk about exactly what's happening for you right now, what you're struggling with, and then getting a plan for how you can get to where you want to be. It's a really amazing way to spend one hour of your life. So it's really easy to book a consult call with me, you just go to my website money mindful.com.au and there's a work with me tab, you just click on that. And there's a scheduler and you can book a time in with me there. Okay, until next time, I hope you have a beautiful week of keeping these episodes making them I wonder if you've noticed I'm making them shorter and shorter for for you because I'm trying to give you as much information as I can in a short amount of time. So you can just get out there and get on with your life. Alright, until next time, have a beautiful week. Bye Bye.

Episode references

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