110: What To Focus On When Creating Your Goals

Transcript

What to Focus on When Creating Your Goals

00:21

Hello, and welcome to the first episode for 2022 of the Money Mindful podcast. I am your host, Meaghan Jean Smith. I'm a money mindset and life coach for women and I help entrepreneurial women create their money and life goals. Hello. Oh my goodness, I am so excited to be with you. I want to try and keep this episode short, but there's so much I want to talk to you about, so much I want to catch you up on, I'm not promising that's gonna happen. So I have just got back from a magnificent holiday in a little town called Bonny Hills, actually the main big town is Port Macquarie, you might have heard of it. It's in sort of northernish, New South Wales, and it is just bloody beautiful. It has been the most beautiful, relaxing, soul nourishing week. Oh, I want everyone to experience this place. It is so gorgeous.

 

01:41

And the reason we picked this location in particular, is because we've been living in just south of Sydney for the last two years and we've got one more year left here. And then we're free from our obligations, the reason we moved here was for my partner's work, and once he's finished up this contract, we can go wherever we want to go. And one of the options is to move back to our hometown in Victoria. But we're sort of feeling a little bit more adventurous than that. And there's work opportunities up in Port Macquarie and so that's why we went up to check it out. And I have to say, it's a pretty definite yes, that we're going to move up there. Once we went there, and just saw how gorgeous it is and the kind of lifestyle that we can have, it's definitely a yes. So you'll be hearing a lot more about that place, I think over the year as we go up and explore it more, and we'll have to find somewhere to live and so forth, like a house up there. So that's really exciting. And I want to tell you a little bit more about that thinking process in deciding to go up there, in a minute.

 

03:03

But before I get into that, I wanted to talk to you about what I've been working on. I've been doing some really exciting stuff behind the scenes. I've kind of been alluding to it, I've been sharing a lot of what I've been doing on Instagram. If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably seen some of the content I've been developing for my clients. If you don't follow me on Instagram, if you're on there, go over and check out what I'm doing. My handle is just @meaghanjsmith . I have been creating a 24/7 on-demand client portal for my clients, for them to be able to access videos all the time on demand. And I'm so excited to get this out. It's not published yet, it's almost there. I've been working on it for quite a while.

 

04:11

And this is a project that came from my own desire of what I wanted. So I've been in group coaching programmes before which are really great, both one on one coaching and group coaching programmes are awesome for their individual reasons and I've been in both and I love both. But one thing about group coaching, when you're in a group programme, is in my experience, often there's on-demand videos or trainings that you can watch which I personally really love. But also I want to be able to dig in and dive deeper with a one on one coach which isn't, you know, available when you're in a group programme.

 

05:01

And then also sometimes when I'm in one to one coaching, I'm working, diving deep with my coach, which I really love, but also sometimes I get taught a lot of stuff where I'm like, you know, I really wish I could just go back and go through this material or self study. And so I've created a hybrid version of that for my one on one clients, where I've got a portal with training videos, where they can go in and self study, they can access all of the content and tools that I teach whenever they want. But then also, they can dive deep with me one on one, when they have the one on one sessions.

 

05:47

So yeah, I'm thrilled to get that out and I wanted to tell you about that. And it's got basically four pillars I've created: so there's mental fitness; there's how to get it done; money; and becoming you. And the reason I have these four pillars is because I help women create their goals. That's essentially what I do. And women come to me too, for a variety of reasons to create different goals. Some people want to create a business, like they're working in corporate, and they want to be able to branch out and create the business that they've always wanted to create, and so that's what I help them do. Or they're already in a business, but they've got a revenue goal, or they want to increase their prices, or what have you, they're the common things that I help people with.

 

06:39

And in my experience through my own personal work that I have done to reach my own goals, and also with working with my clients, what I've found is there's four areas that really heavily influence being able to create your goals.  First of all, the most important thing is mental fitness, you know, actually having self command over your thoughts. And if you think that you have self command over your thoughts, do you ever, you know, spin on stuff, or wake up in the middle of the night looping on, having anxiety about something that you've got to do the next day, or just you can't stop thinking about something that happened, an interaction that you had happen or something that's bothering you? And that is really when, I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, but that's not having self command over your thoughts, right? I'm not saying I never loop on thoughts, I do, but I know what to do. And I know how to stop my brain looping on thoughts. I know how to have emotional resilience and take control of what my brain does. And so that's what I teach my clients, how to actually think thoughts on purpose, how to have mental fitness, so when anxiety pops up, or fear or overwhelm or you're procrastinating, you know how to handle it, right? They are skills that you need if you want to be able to create your goal.

 

08:16

And then the next part of that is how to actually get it done. How do you stay on track to create your goal, right? Like, you have a goal, but then if you're anything like me, it's so easy to quickly get sidetracked or distracted or see the next shiny thing that you also want to pursue. And so that's something that I work consistently with my clients, giving them a process to create their goals so they're as good as done, so they always know what to do next, right? So you've got that big goal that you're working towards, but it's like, well, what do I need to focus on this month? What do I need to focus on this week? What do I need to focus on today to get it done? And how do I stay on track to keep getting it done?

 

09:08

And then the third area is money because oh, man, I mean, I just got my hair cut this morning. And I don't even know if these women were consciously aware, but the conversation in the salon all revolved around money. And it was very conversational, but there was a flavour of money affected their lives. You know, they were talking about how somebody just splashed out $1,000 on different tables at the casino and how their eyes nearly popped out of their head and how, you know, they were talking about how they planned their Christmas shopping and how it all revolved around having enough to spend. And it was just so interesting. Money affects our life every day, whether you like it or not, I mean, as a society, we deal with money, that's our tool of trade, right? And so many of us have really icky weird thoughts about money, and it affects us negatively, and in my experience it's very much been connected with my view of myself, like my self worth, you know, those feelings of being not good enough, do I deserve this?

 

10:28

And so I feel like working on money, your money beliefs, your money mindset, is really important when you're creating your goals, especially when you're working on business goals. I mean, if you want to make a lot of money in business, but also feel good, you want to have a positive relationship with money, right? Like, you want to have a positive money mindset. And even if you don't have a business, because I do coach women who don't have businesses, it's still an area where, you know, we want to have investments, we want to know that we're looked after in life. And it's an area that I see that for women in particular, it's so good to have that really clean, and just always be working on unblocking your limitations and your money blocks. So I work on that area.

 

11:18

And then the final area, which I just think is so important to every aspect of creating a goal, is becoming more you. I mean, when we go after our goals, so much of pursuing goals is about our relationship to ourselves, like we want to go after a particular goal, but often it's because we think the goal is going to make us feel a particular way, like we want to feel happier, or we want to feel more secure, or whatever it is that you're going for. And often what blocks us from going after goals is issues with our relationship with ourselves, like, lacking confidence, or not having enough empathy or self-compassion for ourselves. If you're anything like me, you might beat yourself up a lot, or (allegedly!) be known for doing that. Like, you want to work towards doing something, but you're constantly kind of fighting against yourself, because you're always kind of putting yourself down or comparing yourself to others.

 

12:34

And so this is work, as well, that is key to really being able to go after those big goals that you have in your life. Because, don't get me wrong, for sure you can create success in your life and you can make a lot of money in your life without resolving these areas that I've just talked about. But you know, personally, I don't think it's fun to, you know, earn a heap of money or reach a milestone in your career or business, but then you still feel terrible about yourself. You know, I really want to help my clients reach their goals, but from a place of feeling really good about themselves, right, and feeling really at peace with who they are, what they want to create, feeling confidence in themselves, in their ability, you know, not feeling overwhelm, and self doubt, and all that kind of negative stuff that comes up when we go to evolve into the next version of ourselves, or we go to try and create something bigger in our lives.

 

13:53

And yeah, so it's in the portal. I mean, I have all these stickers up on my wall in front of me of all the different videos and content that I want to put up there. It's not all up there, it will continue to go up as the months go on. But I've created the skeleton of it, of the different areas, in the portal, and so, yeah, I'm just excited to get it out there. I'm excited to tell you about it because I just want this in the hands of as many women as possible because I want you thriving, I want to thrive, this work helps me thrive. And so yeah, it's just exciting, having had a vision of wanting to do this, and it's finally creating. Because we can have all these ideas that we want to do, but we can't do them all at once. Well, at least I can't. I can only do one thing at a time and this has been percolating for a long time and I've really wanted to get it out there and now it's finally happening. Alright, so I'm gonna stop talking about that.

 

15:02

But if you're listening to that and thinking, 'Oh my gosh, I need that now,' book a consult with me. I have spots available in the next two weeks in particular. Over January I've put aside quite a few spots to meet with new clients, because I'm rolling this out in February. And the reason why I do a consultation is I work with women who are committed to creating their goals, and we work together for six months, because I give you the support - actually a lot of clients I work with for longer than six months, but the minimum is six months, because we're changing your identity. I mean, you're stepping into becoming the woman who creates this goal. And I give you all the tools that you need to really support you to do that in a way that feels safe and in a way that is sustainable and lasting, right? This is not come and do a little workshop or a 60 minute coaching call and boom, you're fixed. This is high touch support for six months to really get it done. That goal you've been dreaming about, that business that you want to start, that revenue goal that you've got in your business, we dig deep, we go hard, we create that. That is the result that you get when you work with me, I help you create the goal that you want. So we want to meet beforehand, because we work together for six months. And we want to make sure that we're like two peas in a pod. So go ahead and book a consult with me if that's something you're interested in. I always put a link to the consult in the show notes, and you can just go into my website as well and you'll find a link.

 

17:11

But speaking of goals, and this is what I really want to cover in this episode, which relates to everything I've already just said, is I've personally just been doing my goal setting, literally just before I got on to record this podcast, and one of the things that I spend a lot of time on, is actually thinking about who I want to be as the woman who creates the goal that I want to create. So I sent out recently to my clients basically like a yearly intention that they work on where it's not to create, it's not a goal-setting-specific thing, I have something else for that. But it's really about just tuning into who they want to be.

 

18:05

And you might have heard, I have been reading Atomic Habits by James Clear.  It's a best seller. But one of the things he talks about when you're creating new habits, and I love the way that he outlines this in the book - and it's page 30 and 31, just for your reference, if you've read the book - he talks about when we create new habits in our life, there's kind of three layers to doing it. There's the actual outcome that you want to create, like maybe the outcome is that you run a five km race or something, right? And then there's the process of creating that habit, actually getting out every day and going running and creating the habit of being a runner. But then at the core of that, and he says this is the thing that really needs to change if you want to create a habit and make it stick, and I see this as the same with goals, is working on your identity, like becoming a person who says I'm a runner, not somebody who says 'I'm trying to run a five km race' and doing it from a place as if you're not somebody who's a runner, but actually taking on that identity that 'I am a runner.'

 

19:42

And that's what I do with my clients, right? And when I'm creating my goals. It's really important to think about who do you want to actually be? Yeah, okay, so you might want to start a consulting business, let's say, and you've never run a business before, and that's a dream that you've had, that you want to create a business. But who is the woman who creates a business, right? How do you want to show up for yourself? Who is she? Because she's not who you are now, right? If you haven't already created a business. So it's not just about creating the outcome of what you actually want, it's about who is the person who creates that goal. And I think this is something that doesn't get talked about often enough, and relates so heavily to being successful with creating your goals, like really sinking into who you want to be.

 

20:51

And I'll give you some examples of this. So Louis and I, that's my partner, we've been talking about what we want to do, where we want to live for a long time. And one of the safest options for us at the end of this year is just to move back to our house, we own a house in Victoria, our family's down there, and that seems like a pretty safe and logical thing to do. We moved up to New South Wales for his work, and when this comes to an end, this three year period, it's like, yeah, we could just go home to our own house. But we were exposed to the idea of going up and working in Port Macquarie, and we started talking about it and thinking about it. And when we were up there, we were talking about how nice it is up there, and how nice it would be to live by the beach. And both of us have talked in the past about living by the beach. Now that's the outcome, right? And the process of finding a house, going up there, getting work, you know, that's all pretty straightforward.

 

20:56

But when we were making the decision about do we want to move up there, we actually made that decision from a place of well, who do we want to be? What kind of family do we want to be? Do we want to be the kind of family who plays it safe and just, you know, goes back to our home in Victoria? Nothing wrong with that, right, I just want to put that out there. Or do we want to be the kind of family that just goes all in on life and living it to the fullest and having adventures? And that was what made the decision for us? Because we were like, yes, we do want to be the family who does that. I would rather move up there and commit to being there for a year and then discover that actually, it's not what we thought it was going to be, it didn't turn out how we thought, and then move back home to Victoria. I would rather do that than move back to Victoria and having never gone up there, or trying it out, and living in regret. Right? And that's so much more about who we are, right, who are we being? Who do we want to be?

 

23:20

And when you ask yourself that question, it helps you, one, step into the identity of who you want to be when you're creating a goal. But two, it helps you inform your decisions moving forward too, because we were like, well, we want to be that family. We want to be that family who goes to new places and has adventures, and evolves and expands and does exciting things like that. And so that's what we're doing. And so that's what I really want you to do this year, when you're thinking about your goals, take it that much deeper. Yes, it's all very well to say I want to get an investment property, or I want to start a business, or I want to build my share portfolio. That's great, nothing wrong with that. That's what I do, too. I have tangible goals like that, that I want to create. But who am I as the person who creates that goal? How do I want to show up, and how do I need to show up, to create that goal?

 

24:31

So when you're thinking about -  I'll just give you some questions to help you think about this. So when you're thinking about your intentions for this year, even before you get to your big goals, who do you want to be this year? Right? What kind of person do you want to be? And then how do you want to show up for yourself? And I'll give you some examples. One of the things that I've really been working on a lot in my personal life is just really showing up for, with empathy and love, for myself all the time. Because I have a whole lifetime of practice of being pretty mean to myself, actually. You know, I'm a recovering perfectionist, and I have very high standards. And I'm really hard on myself, you know, and I'm always sort of, in that kind of compare and despair and comparison. And I just decided that I've had enough of that. And I'm not going to do that anymore. In all aspects of my life, like in my self image, in creating my business, in how I show up as a parent, all of it. Yes, for sure, I'm going to make mistakes, but I'm just not going to beat myself up anymore about any of it. I'm just gonna love myself through it all.

 

25:57

And so when I think about how do I want to show up for myself, that is the major focus for me this year, is really showing up with love and compassion for myself. Always. And then I take that a step further and it's like when I think about my goals, what feels really soul-nourishing, what feels absolutely amazing to create this year? Right? And then I approach my goals from that place. I ask myself that question and just brainstorm on that, right? And then once I've got a few ideas down, I ask myself the question, well, what energy do I want to bring to this goal? How do I want to feel? And so that relates to how I'm showing up. When I was doing this, it's like, whatever goal I'm going for, I really want to show up with love and empathy for myself, right? Lots of compassion, lots of empathy, lots of love towards the goals that I'm creating, and really having it about that.

 

27:07

And so then when I think about the goals that I want to work on, and as I step into the woman who creates these goals, my next question is, well, what do I need to let go of, right? So in order to do this, I really need to let go of beating myself up, right? If I try something and fail at it, so what? Instead of beating myself up for failing at it, how about I build myself up for going for it in the first place, right? So it's like really letting go of worry, letting go of self doubt, and letting go of comparing myself to others, like that compare and despair. And then, in pursuit of creating my goal this year, I'm just committed to having my own back, right?

 

28:03

So what does that look like for me? And for me, that's just having a lot of positive self talk. But it also looks like, and this is interesting, because, you know, my major goal this year is a business goal. But this is sort of like the overarching aspect about how I'm treating myself, is what it looks like for me to have my own back, is actually putting my mental health and my physical health as my number one priority this year. So even though I'm going for big business goals, I'm prioritising myself first because, I don't know about you, but sometimes I put my goals in front of my own health, without realising, right, because I'm just so focused on what I want to create that I forget, like, oh, hang on, I need to take care of the animal, like me, who's creating those goals. And so that's what I'm committing to this year, like really putting my health and well being as a number one priority.

 

29:09

So what does that look like? It looks like resting, it looks like having zero tolerance for negative self talk, and just always bringing myself back to, you know, what's the most loving and compassionate way I can handle this, right? Like not glossing over if I stuff something up or whatever, like, of course, rectifying things, but doing it from a place of compassion, not from a place of self beat up. So if you're my client listening to this, you know that I've created a workbook for you and you've got all this in a workbook that you've got access to.

 

29:49

And for those of you who are just listening, just go back through and listen to the questions that I've asked you today. And you can access the transcript from the website, the Money Mindful website, there'll be a link in the show notes to this episode, if you want to go through, and you can listen to the questions that I've asked you to help you when you're setting your goals this year and sort of getting in the right energy of how you want to be this year, right? Like, how do you want to show up for yourself? How do you want to show up for your goals? And do that first. And then do your big goal setting stuff, and I'm going to do more episodes on that. But I really just believe strongly that this is such an important aspect of creating goals. And also, this helps you create your goal. Because if you embody that person who you think you'll be when you've created that goal, if you embody that before you create the goal, then you create the goal, right? Being that person.

 

31:06

So this is awesome, exciting work. I love this time of year, I feel so inspired right now, because I've been creating my goals. And I'm really excited about the year ahead. I'm really excited for what you create as well. I hope what I've shared with you today on the podcast really helps you just sink into that energy of who you want to be, like really brainstorm that, think about that. Because yes, you want to create those tangible results, but who is the woman who creates those tangible results, right? And if you want help with this, this is what I help my clients do.

 

31:50

And I'm taking on new clients in February, I have spots opening up, I have spots available now to book a consult with me, meet with me, you can tell me all about your goals and what you want to work on. We'll find out on the call whether we're a good fit, I'll help you make a decision on the call, like whether you want to work together or not, from an really neutral space and then we get to it, we get your results created. It is the most satisfying thing for me, like when you make your - what you think is not possible now - when you create that into reality, oh my gosh, it's like the most amazing life to live, living the life that you want to live, right, is creating those things that you think are impossible, actually doing it. And that's why you get a coach, to help you do that. And I can help you with that. So I would love to work with you. I am so excited to be here with you on this first episode. Oh, and before I go, I'll just let you know next week Andrew Hallam is on the show. He's talking all about his new book. So make sure you tune in for that and until I get in your ears again, have a beautiful week. Bye bye.