119: Want achieving your goals to be the most delicious, loving experience ever? Do this.

Transcript

Want achieving your goals to be the most delicious, loving experience ever? Do this.

00:20

Hello, hello, hello and welcome to another episode of the Money Mindful podcast. I am your host Meaghan Jean Smith. I'm a money mindset and life coach for women. I help entrepreneurial women reach their money and life goals. Alrighty, I have got a beautiful episode today because I'm going to introduce you to a way of achieving your goals that will be the most delicious loving experience ever. Do you want to hear about how to do that? I just want to give you a warning first up that this might trigger you a little bit with some of the things that I say. And I think it's probably a good thing, okay, especially for you overachievers, like me, I know like, entrepreneurial women, we get shit done. Right? We don't sit around. We achieve things, you know. We're into evolving ourselves. We're into creating our own paths, we're motivated to get the results that we want.

 

01:35

One of the things that can happen is that we work ourselves into the ground. Yeah? we put our kids first, we put our business first, we put all the 10 billion little things we've got to get done, those bills that have got to get paid, the course that we've signed up to, to learn about something new in our business, right, all these things. We're busy, I get it. But I want to introduce you to this idea that what if putting your wellbeing, your nourishment, as your number one priority.

 

02:27

Now, when that question was first posed to me last year by my coach at the time, Jamie Berman, thank you, Jamie, that question alone was worth the whole cost of the coaching that I did with you last year, because it's absolutely changed my whole life. I mean, that's how powerful coaching can be, guys, like just getting asked one question and it can completely change your life. So I want to share with you how that's changed my life, and how you might be able to apply this as well, and why it's so important.

 

03:08

So let me paint the picture of last year. Last year was probably the most challenging year of my life, like you might not have realised it on the podcast because I manage my mind really well. Not that I pretend or Pollyanna that things are going well. But when I need to show up and when I need to be on, I am on, right. And I'm able to do that, in a way, because I'm good at creating intentionally how I want to think and feel in the moment.

 

03:44

But overall, last year, I mean, it was also one of the best years of my life, but it was freaking challenging. Okay, so my partner was working further away than usual. He was gone from the house pretty much from before sunrise to after sunset in winter, you know, like really long days, 12, 13 hours he was gone. So it was almost like single parenting, right? Running a business through like crazy lockdown, all that stuff. Look, I don't even want to bore you with the details.

 

04:22

But one of the things that really slowed me down, and this is why I want to share with you, because this could be happening to you too, and I want to help you not have this happen, and overcome it, is that I wasn't getting to my goals how I wanted to, right, like in the time that I wanted to. And one of the things that I realised, that became apparent to me, is that I didn't want to take on any more work, because I was overworking, right? I was working really hard and I was exhausted.

 

05:04

And what I realised was that I was working really hard, because I wanted to, right, like nobody was forcing me to, I had things that I wanted to achieve, I had things that I wanted to get done. And I chose to get up early, right, to do things before the kids woke up. I chose to stay up late watching a training video, because I wanted to get it done. I was very passionate about creating the things that I wanted to create in my life, like really going hard for my goals. And the circumstances in our life at the time, were things that were out of my control, like I couldn't control the fact that my partner was gone for 12 to 13 hours a day, right? I mean, we could have moved house, I'm not saying that we were completely out of control in the sense that we could have moved closer to his work, but we would have had to have taken our kids to a new school, yada, yada, yada. I mean, we made those choices, right? But the effect of some of those choices was that I was extremely busy, and one of the things that I realised was that I just was not looking after myself.

 

06:23

You know, I mean, you've probably seen lots of images of us being out on walks and by the river, but what you don't see is in the mornings on the weekends, where I was madly sort of cleaning the house or getting things done, or - and what my coach pointed out to me, is that I could achieve my goals going the way that I was going - but what if I could achieve my goals by looking after myself first?

 

06:58

And seriously, that really blew my mind at the time because I couldn't actually at first see that that was possible. I was like, I can't get more done and achieve more by doing less. How is that going to happen? But once she posed the question to me, it really did change everything for me, because I started to look at well, what if that was possible? What if that was possible, that I could put my wellbeing first and still reach my goals and still get the things done that I wanted to?

 

07:34

What happened is that first that brought up a lot of fear for me and discomfort, because not doing things made me feel like I wasn't going to achieve what I wanted to get done, and that made me feel really uncomfortable. But when I really started to kind of poke holes in my thinking, I realised, like, do I actually want to reach my goals and feel burnt out? Do I want to reach my goals being exhausted? Right? Because that's what so many of us do. We just push push, push, push, push ourselves. And yeah, we reach our goals. And yes, there are definitely positives to reaching our goals. And I'm not saying don't work hard. I'm not saying don't go for what you really want.

 

08:27

But it's almost like we forget about the vehicle, right? Like if you imagine that we're the vehicle, and we're pushing the vehicle along the road, because there's no fuel in it. And we're pushing, pushing, pushing, and we're still going to get to the destination, but it feels so hard, like we're just pushing this car along, it's really hard work. And then somewhere along the line, somebody says 'Hey, what if you just pulled into the petrol station, and put petrol in the car, and maybe topped up the oil?' And it's like, we're saying, 'No, no, no, but that will slow us down, we'll have to stop pushing the car, and then we're not going to, you know, get to where we want to get to.'

 

09:17

And we fail to realise, it's like, 'Oh, hang on. But maybe if we just took a moment to stop and refuel, then we would be able to achieve so much more in such a shorter amount of time.' Like, how faster would we be able to get to our goals, if we're using this analogy of the car, if the car actually had petrol in it and we could get inside the car and drive it instead of pushing it along the road? Because that's what I feel like happened to me last year.

 

09:52

And sometimes I say this to my clients, like if we haven't reached our goal already, when we think we want to reach it, it's often because there's a lesson that we haven't learnt, and that for sure happened to me. It's like the lesson that I hadn't learnt was to look after myself, for goodness sake, and I'm not talking about - listen, I exercise, I do stuff. But really making my wellbeing number one, right? Like, I wasn't actually doing that, and it was almost like, I couldn't even see that that was possible. And when I started opening up to really looking at, 'Well, what if I did put my wellbeing first, what might that look like?'

 

10:38

And for you listening, if you are working hard, and because some of you I know you are, because you're my clients and you're telling me, and this is one of the reasons why you're working with me, right, is that when you are in that flow of you are pushing hard and you have got so much on, it can feel very scary to take your foot off the accelerator, so to speak, or to stop pushing the car to step into the petrol station to refuel. And I want to offer that you can do it in ways that feel safe, right? And I'm going to give you those examples now.

 

11:21

One is you can just actually slow down. Be prepared to feel the negative emotion that goes with that, like feel the fear of 'Oh my gosh, what if I don't get it done?' right, and actually rest. But this is very difficult if you don't know how to manage your mind, because what will happen is you will try to "rest" in quotation marks, but you'll actually just be spinning on all the stuff that you've got to get done, and so it's not actually real rest. So that might not be accessible to you in the beginning, if you don't know how to manage your mind and actually quieten it down and be able to rest, be able to really take time off, like true time off.

 

12:06

Because a lot of us, you know, we take pretend time off, where we sort of, we make out like we're resting, but actually we're just scrolling on social media or whatever, because we're just trying to get a break from our brain being active, and we're not really taking true rest. But another thing that you can do, and this is what I did, is that sometimes we just genuinely actually do have a lot on. And yes, we could say no, we could reduce our workload, we could tell our clients, you know, give them a refund or whatever.  I'm just saying clients because that's my experience, but you know, say no to work or what have you. But maybe that's not something that you actually want to do in the short term, right? Or you don't want to experience the consequences of doing that.

 

13:03

So here's what I did. First of all, I really explored what that would look like. What does it mean to put my wellbeing first? What does that mean? Right? Because it's different for everyone. What putting my wellbeing first looks like may be different to what your putting your wellbeing first looks like. We all have different things that we see as the nurturing, nourishing things that we do for ourselves, like my nourishing might not be the same as your nourishing.

 

13:37

And so one of the things that I looked at, which was taking a lot of time, were things like some of the things in my business, like doing this podcast, for instance, I put a lot of time and effort into the podcast, into thinking about what I want to talk to you about, into the actual recording of it, into the post-production of it. And then like telling you about it, like either writing you an email about it or doing a post on social media or what have you, right? It's something that I love doing, but it takes a lot of time.

 

14:13

And one of the things that I started to examine and look at was, well, what if I just didn't do podcasts every week? It had never occurred to me that that was an option. Like somewhere along the lines, I'd got this idea that I had to do podcasts every single week. And also funnily enough, you know, a lot of the podcasts that I listen to, they produce podcasts every week and I have actually thought, this thought has actually gone through my mind, 'Jeez I wish they'd just have a break every now and again,' because I just feel like the content - the content is great, right? But it just keeps coming out again and again every week and you know, I don't want to always dedicate every week to listening to somebody's podcast.

 

14:56

So, you know, I started to play around with the idea, well, what if I didn't do a podcast every week? What if I had times when I didn't do it? And where people had a choice? I mean, I've done over 100 episodes, right? Like, if you're new to discovering this podcast, there are so many back episodes that you can listen to. Because I don't know, if you're like me, when you find a podcast that you love, I go, 'I want to listen to every single episode,' right? I want to go back and hear it from the start. And so I just started playing around with, 'Well, what could I do in the future, to change my schedule, to change what my day might look like?' And I did a whole heap of things. And I'm going to share them with you, not because you will necessarily do the same things that I do, but just to give you some ideas, right?

 

15:51

So one of the things was I planned out this year, I did this months ago, like way into last year. I really looked ahead, because for me, just stopping the podcast suddenly, like next week, not releasing a podcast for a month or something, I just didn't feel good about that, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to keep talking to you, I wanted to keep producing episodes, but I was like, 'Okay, I'm going to plan to have a really big break from the podcast over Christmas.' You know, I'm going to do that. I'm going to take a whole month off and not produce any new content. And then I was thinking, 'Well, I wonder actually, do I want to do that throughout the year?' And at first I was like, 'Oh, my gosh, I couldn't possibly do that.' And then it was like, 'Well, why not? Why couldn't I do that?' Like, there's plenty of podcasts that are seasonal, or that even just do 12 episodes in a year or whatever. And so I really just started to open up with what's possible.

 

16:58

And then I just made decisions and committed to it, right, I can always change my mind later. So I have a schedule set up now for this year where I'm going to do a season, like later on in the year, I'm going to take a break in June and July, and not produce podcasts over that time and have a seasonal break and start back up again in late July. And just planning ahead, alone, just freed up so much space in my mental capacity.

 

17:30

But that wasn't all. I started to look at lots of things that I was doing in my life, like I realised I was seeing clients every single day of the week, but I wasn't seeing them, you know, back to back calls. I'd have two calls on Monday and then another two calls on Tuesday. And then I'd have a couple of calls on Wednesday, and then a couple of calls on Thursday, and then a call on Friday. And I was like, hang on a minute. What if I just saw all my clients on two or three days in the week and just, you know, did back to back calls? And so again, I didn't do that straight away. Like when a client would finish up with me on a particular day, I just wouldn't open up that spot again, right? Because I started to think about, Well, how am I going to manage my time in a way that really works with the flow of my business, where I can have full whole days where I can do things like produce podcasts, like work on the business, not just in the business, right?

 

18:32

And this was how I started to be able to create time to create the client portal that I've done for my clients, like now I have a client portal that is basically on demand trainings and teaching concepts and coaching tools that my clients can access 24/7, right? So I might teach them something in a coaching session with me, but they can go into the portal and watch videos that expand on that topic. They can do trainings that I haven't taught them at all in the portal, and then you know, they can bring what they've learnt to a coaching session, we can go through it if that's what they want to apply, because I have the four pillars of what I coach on in the coaching portal. So being able to manage my time actually freed up creating time to do that, right?

 

19:27

But I couldn't get to that place where I could do that before I started actually really looking at 'What if I put my well being and nourishment first? What would that look like?' And really examining that. And one of the things I discovered was okay, well it would look like me managing my time better in my workflow, right, like creating times to work on the business so I had lots of time to think and space to create things. And then days where I just coach back to back all day. And, it's not just with work. I looked at it in all aspects. So what would that look like? It would look like me getting out for walks, like getting out in nature, because whenever I get out in nature I feel refuelled, I feel amazing. It's one of the things that I love and really connect to, and is important to me. I don't know what it is for you. Maybe it's going for a swim, maybe it's getting your nails done, who knows. But just seeing that that was something that refuelled me and something that I wanted to do.

 

20:33

And then another thing was just deciding to take time off, like proper time off, like no working, just, we're on holiday, right? And so we planned a holiday. We had a holiday over Christmas. And then we've also planned a time later this year already, when we're going to go on holiday, we haven't booked it yet, but we know Okay, we're going to go on holiday during that time. And I can't even tell you, taking rest, really prioritising my health and wellbeing, I have never got more work done. I have never signed more clients, like I had a goal for the month of February, that I was going to sign four new clients. I signed four clients in the first week and a half. And it was so easy.

 

21:25

And during that time as well, I've got to tell you, I don't think I've shared this, my daughter, my youngest daughter started school at the start of February. And initially, I had in my mind that when she started back at school, I would go hard, like I would get into full on creation mode, because I would have time every single day. No kids, right, to create things that I've had on my mind that I've been wanting to do. But in actual fact, I felt so tired when she started school, and it wasn't a physical thing, it wasn't like I hadn't had enough sleep or anything. It was like I was recovering from the last seven years of being a parent. And for those of you who are parents already, I know that you understand what I mean, it's like, we put so much time and energy into our babies. And it was like when she went to school, it created the space for me to - I feel like I've entered this whole new era of my life.

 

22:34

But I actually just wanted to really relish in that transition and really take the time to just acknowledge this last seven years of being, you know, looking after my kids whilst running a business and doing all the things. And then just allowing myself to process all of that. And one of the things that I felt called, like I felt myself wanting to do, was just, withdraw is not the right word, I just really wanted to be in my own energy. And so I didn't send out some emails for a few weeks. And I didn't really get on social media. And it was because I just really wanted to give myself that time and space to process, just this big transition in my life, of my daughter going to school, and also to give myself time to rest.

 

23:30

At that time, too, I also got a booster vaccination, and it did affect me this time around, I did feel tired, like that fatigue. And so I just wanted to give myself plenty of rest. And I know my clients, they wouldn't have even noticed any of that, because I had so much energy when I was coaching, and because I was really looking after myself. Now, six months ago, 12 months ago, there's no way I could have done that. Like when time freed up, I would have just kept going, going, going, I would have just kept pushing that car.

 

24:08

But now that I'm through to the other side, I can confidently tell you, Oh my gosh, when you actually take the time to really deliberately look after yourself, it makes a huge impact on your productivity. It makes a huge impact on what you're able to create. It makes a huge impact on how you treat yourself and the people around you. It's had positive effects for me beyond what I could possibly imagine. And in the beginning, I was afraid to slow down, because I am quite a driven person, I do a lot of stuff and I like that, I like that about me, I don't feel like I need to change that. But I did feel like I needed to change going at the pace I was going at my own expense.

 

25:03

And I realised, what I've learnt from it is that when I go at a fast pace at my own expense, I actually slow myself down. And when I look after myself, and when I rest, it speeds me up. And it's kind of uncanny and still blows my mind, how much more I get done from actually doing less. I don't even know if that makes sense, logically, when I say it like that. But that's what happens. When I slow down, when I take more time for myself, when I prioritise rest and my wellbeing, I can't even still believe, I'm still signing clients, I'm still getting all this work done in my business, like all this amazing stuff's happening. And the way that I process that for my brain is like that analogy with the car. It's like I've been pushing that car, pushing, pushing, pushing, working so hard. And it's when I actually learned, Oh, if I actually just stop, pull in to a petrol station, refuel, wow, the car goes so much faster, I get so much more stuff done.

 

26:13

So I really hope that helps and encourages you to really look at how are you treating yourself. Are you putting your health, your wellbeing first? And if not, it can be a progress, it can be a, what's the word I'm looking at? You don't need to stop suddenly, right? You don't need to come to a dead stop. I mean, maybe you do. But you can do it in baby steps. Because for me, I felt like I was going at such a speed, it didn't feel right for me to just come to a halt, suddenly, even though my body was crying out to rest and do things differently. But looking ahead, what you can do is sometimes plan for next week, or when you feel really overwhelmed, plan for next month, or next year even, and then start putting those things into place, start slowly implementing them.

 

27:16

That's all I'm going to give you for this episode. If you want to take this work deeper, you want to learn how to reach your goals in a really beautiful, delicious way where you're looking after yourself, where you're not overwhelmed, where you're not overworking yourself, I would love to help you with that. I help entrepreneurial women create their money and life goals. You can learn about working with me by going and booking a consult. Well, that's not exactly where you learn about working with me. The consult means you want to work with me right? You're getting on the call, we're going to have a chat, I'm going to see if we're a beautiful fit, because I work with women for a minimum of six months.

 

27:58

Because I mean, quite frankly, if you are not willing to invest six months into achieving your big money and life goals, we're not a good fit. Because this is like the real deal. You're serious, you want to create this stuff. And you want to be able to allow enough time to learn the tools to create your goals. But then also to be able to have some failure, right? Like you're going to have some failure along the way.

 

28:26

But then how to overcome that failure, because that's the most important thing, like being able to overcome obstacles towards your goals so they don't stop you from reaching them. And then being able to maintain, actually having the support to be able to keep going, keep it maintained, not just learn a new skill and then like, 'Oh okay, now we're good to go, and we're never going to have any problems again.' It's having that support to be able to keep it going. And that's why often my clients re-sign with me, they work with me for 12 months or 18 months because it's not that they still need to learn skills to create the goals, it's like they want to have that support, right, to keep going because they realise how valuable it is. All right, until I speak to you again next week, have an amazing week. Bye bye.