124: Are you prioritising money over your personal health and wellbeing?

Transcript

Are you prioritising money over your personal health & wellbeing?

SPEAKERS

Meaghan Smith

00:20

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Money Mindful podcast. I am your host Meaghan Jean Smith. I'm a money mindset and life coach for women, I help entrepreneurial women create their money and life goals. So if that's you, you're in the right place. Welcome. So good to be here with you today. I want to let you know a couple of things before we get into it. First of all, one of my clients said to me this week, I know I'm not really an entrepreneurial woman, but bla bla bla bla bla, what she was talking about. And she was describing herself as not being an entrepreneurial woman because she doesn't have a business. So she's a professional, she works in a professional industry. But she is very much an entrepreneurial woman in my mind. Because yes, I mean, the majority of women that I work with do have businesses or they are wanting to create a business.

 

01:28

But I do work with some women in professional jobs and careers, who I see they are entrepreneurial women. In my mind, an entrepreneurial woman is somebody who is carving out their own life. Right? Like, you've got places to go, things to create, a life to live. And I see that, in essence, as being entrepreneurial. It's like you're creating your own pathway in life. So, just wanted to clear that up in case you were thinking that you really wanted to work with me, but you don't have a business and so you thought, I'm probably not a good fit for Meaghan.

 

02:16

And that's actually one of the reasons why I do consultation calls, where if you're interested in working with me, I invite you to come and spend an hour with me. That's a long time, right? That you get to meet me and time that we have together to really establish a connection and work out if we are a good fit together. Right? From your point of view, and from my point of view, so I can be really confident and I can say to you, yes, you are absolutely the kind of person I help. Yes, I can confidently tell you that I can help you get this result that you're wanting to get. And we work that out together. So that's why you come on a consultation call. So just clearing that up for you.

 

03:09

And one more thing before we get started. I'd like to invite you deeper into my world just outside of the podcast. I mentioned it last week. So there's a few ways you can do that. One is come and hang out with me on Instagram. My handle is meaghanjsmith . And I do some lives once a week over there, I post little helpful things for you, to get you thinking deeper and question, asking yourself high quality questions about developing your money and life goals. So that's a really great place to connect with me. I also have a three day video training that is free.

 

03:51

And if you're curious about working with me, that is actually a great place to start because you will get a sense of what it's like to work with me. Like for example, if swearing really offends you, you're going to figure out pretty quickly that , 'Ooh, Meaghan's probably not the best fit for me.' But also that three day training is an amazing resource to help you create a pathway to create your money and life goals. And that's free. Like you can go and sign up for that at any time on my website. And when you sign up for that you'll also be put on my email list - don't worry, you can unsubscribe at any time - where I send out weekly communication to you. And again, it's with helpful stuff to help you create your money and life goals. So there's plenty of ways that you can work with me without even meeting me in person. So that's a beautiful thing. All right, let's get into today's episode.

 

04:57

So here's a question for you. Are you prioritising money over your wellbeing, because this is a thing. This is a thing that many of us do. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say you are quite possibly doing this, okay? And I know this because I've done this, and a lot of my clients do this. And I see this often, and I see it happening, what's the word I'm looking for, like, without awareness? Like you're doing it unconsciously, you don't even realise that you're doing it. Because of course, when you ask somebody, 'Are you taking care of yourself?' It's like saying, do you care about money more than your health? Most people say, 'Oh, no, of course, I care about my wellbeing and health more than money.' Right? That's what we think initially.

 

05:53

But let's just have a little dig around in what you're doing. Let's look at your behaviours and let's see if this is actually the case, because you might be surprised. So I was exploring this with one of my clients this week. And it dawned on her, she shared with me that there's this dental floss that she uses that is a really good dental floss, it does the job, it does exactly what it's supposed to do. It's a bit more expensive than your regular dental floss. But it's the dental floss that she feels is effective and does the job to keep her teeth clean. Now that floss has run out. And she had another one in her cupboard, which is actually a dental floss that she doesn't think is that great, it's thinner, it doesn't really do the job that she wants it to do. And yet, she was going to continue using that dental floss because her thought pattern was 'Well, you know, I shouldn't waste this dental floss, I should use this before I go and buy myself a new dental floss, the dental floss that I actually want.'

 

07:07

Now, the difference between not buying the dental floss that she actually wanted, and using the floss that she's got is only a few dollars, right, we're only talking about a few dollars. And this is such a small thing, dental floss, but has such significant meaning. Because what she realised was that she was prioritising saving a few dollars over her actual health and wellbeing. So, health in the way that this dental floss that she had didn't even work as effectively as the good dental floss that she wanted. And, two, just her general wellbeing. It takes up her time, her thoughts, like thinking about it, thinking about that it's not something that she wants, she doesn't enjoy using that dental floss, it's not something that she wants to continue using it, and she's really only using it to save a few dollars.

 

08:16

Now, does this sound like something you do? Do you use the terrible shampoo you've got even though it makes your hair go all fuzzy, because you think you should use it up before buying a new bottle of shampoo? This shows up in so many areas. And I'm going to give you lots of examples, okay? Because I want you to be able to see this for yourself. So it could be things like not replacing plates that you've chipped, because well, you know, the plate's got a chip on it. But still probably you could use it, right?

 

09:00

Doing things like not getting a gym membership, or not going and seeing a nutritionist, or getting help, like getting support that you need. Maybe you're struggling to lose weight, or maybe you feel stuck in your job, or what you're doing, but you have this idea that you're thinking you should be able to figure it out on your own or that you should not spend that money, you should hold on to that money. Like don't waste money on the gym, keep that money in your bank account, right? Because you're prioritising having that money in your bank account over actually having the benefits of going to the gym and looking after yourself.

 

09:50

Now I'm going to give you an example that came up for us recently and I think actually I'm gonna do a whole nother episode on this but just briefly, we just bought a new car. Oh my gosh, buying a new car is the best thing ever. I highly recommend it. But here's what happened with us leading up to buying the car. Actually, there's a lot of aspects to this. So this is why I think I'm going to do another podcast on it. But in terms of prioritising money over our health and wellbeing, we were definitely doing this.

 

10:26

So we've always bought secondhand cars. I've always bought cars outright, I've never borrowed money to buy cars before, I've always just paid for them outright. Now, we're in a different stage of our life right now, okay, like my partner is quite progressed in his career. I have a business now that is really taking off, I've already made a significant amount more money that I made last year, my business is continuing to grow. We're doin' alright, okay? Now, when we started to look at cars, one of the things that came up for us was, well, you know, we don't want to spend all this money on a new car, like we don't want to take all this money out of our bank account, and put it into a car, because what we were doing is we were prioritising having the money over our own wellbeing.

 

11:30

Because the current car that we had, was old, it was getting old and we were having to get it fixed quite a bit. Now, having an old car has never been a problem for us, in the sense that we've got young kids, we've got a dog, we're into bushwalking and the beach, can you imagine, like there's a lot of sand, there's a lot of mud, all that stuff's going on, right? So we're quite happy with an old car. It's not a problem, but as long as it works.

 

12:07

But what was happening is our car was starting to not work. And we've had to take it in to get it fixed quite a few times. And quite frankly, I was experiencing anxiety driving the car, like I was starting to feel unsafe. When we were getting in the car, I was like, 'Oh my God, is it going to break down? Am I going to be okay?' you know, and I was driving like a Nana to the extreme because I was thinking 'Oh, I don't want to take off really quickly, is the car gonna conk out.' Ridiculous, right, like ridiculous that that's what we were going through. And yet I was thinking, 'Oh, but if we take all this money out of the bank to buy a new car, we're not going to have that money in the bank.'

 

12:47

As if having the money in the bank was somehow better for our wellbeing and health. Right, can you see how crazy that is? Like we were actually - and I don't mean crazy as in there's anything wrong with us, or you if you're thinking this, because a lot of us do this, we kind of hold money in this regard, as if it's the priority of our life. But actually money in the bank, like yes, if we have an emergency or what have you, it's quite good to have money in the bank. You know, I've talked about this before, having emergency funds and things like that. But when you actually want to spend the money because of something that you need, that is for your health and wellbeing, notice how you don't. I got coaching on this even, with my coach, because I realised we were prioritising the money over our general wellbeing, like we have a family, like in actual fact.

 

13:57

Now when I look back on what just happened, the process, it's crazy for me to think that I was prioritising having that money in the bank over actually having a car that was safe for my family. Like being able to be in a car that I could drive around in and feel safe, like oh, it's not going to break down. And that I was willing to put myself through that stress of driving an older car because I wanted to have - I wanted to be able to buy a car - [dog barking] Okay, totally human moment there did you hear my dog barking, I just paused and stopped for a second because the postie drove past. That's my dog Dasher. She's usually always in the basket under the table when I'm recording these episodes, but sometimes the postie drives past in the middle of an episode and there you go. That's real life for you. So yes, I digress. Where was I?

 

15:01

So yeah, we were 100% valuing having money in the bank and prioritising that over our own safety, peace of mind, and wellbeing. So, I just wanted you to let that hit home, I'm human, too. I've done this too. And I needed to sort of process this and bring it to my awareness that that's what I was doing, because I was prioritising money over my wellbeing. And if this is you, I really want you to just explore, be open, to just get curious and build some curiosity, like just explore, right? Like, 'Huh, am I doing that? Am I putting up with this horrible dental floss that doesn't actually even do the job properly, because I'm prioritising having an extra $4 or $5 in my bank account.' Right?

 

16:11

I see this so often with people who want to work with me. It's tragic for me to be on the other side and see it, like when I've been in consultations with people and they've said outright - I'm not talking about people who we're not a good fit, and they don't want to work with me. But people who have outright said to me, 'Yes, I want to work with you, like this sounds amazing, but I don't want to spend the money because it's going to use up all my savings.' Right? And I'm thinking someone in particular, she was struggling, she felt really stuck. She wasn't able to move forward on her own, like she tried things. She wasn't having success on her own. She wasn't feeling happy and good. And yet she prioritised having money in the bank over her own wellbeing.

 

17:08

So what are you going to do with this information now, that I've just given you? I want to help you, how you can use this information that I'm giving you. So first of all, there's a few little things I want to clear up. Now, I understand that maybe you are somebody who is like really struggling financially right now, like you're in a low-paying job, or you're just getting by, or you're a student, because I do know I have quite a large range of people, of women who listen to this show. And this message isn't for you, in the sense that sometimes you need to be creative, right?

 

17:49

Sometimes you've really got to stretch those dollars. And I get that. And I'm not trying to say that this is about that, like sometimes you do need to cut open the tube of toothpaste and use like every last little skerrick of paste in there because that's where you're at in your life financially. And quite frankly, going to the gym, although it would be amazing, is a total luxury that you're choosing not to put any money into because actually your highest priority is buying food and paying for shelter. This message is not for you, okay, this is not about that, alright, because I understand, some of us, I've been in stages before where I've had to stretch every dollar and I really know what that is like. And please don't feel like I'm sort of trying to have a go at you or anything like that because this is not who this message is for, right? We do have to be creative sometimes with our money and sometimes we do need to have that terrible dental floss because actually we don't have an extra couple of dollars to buy the good dental floss that we want, alright?

 

19:01

This message is for you who do have the money in the bank to buy the good dental floss, right, you do have the money in the bank to pay for that gym membership or the health coach you want, or whatever it is, right, the new car, but you're not spending money on those things that will actually uplevel the quality of your life, uplevel the quality of your experience, so you're enhancing your wellbeing, you're enhancing your health, you're really looking after yourself at the deepest level. Well, you want to look after yourself at the deepest level but you're actually not, because you're valuing money in the bank over your own wellbeing.

 

19:51

So I'll just give another example, actually, where I see this a lot. Having a house cleaner. Right? Like for so many people it's like, 'Well, I can just do the cleaning myself.' Right? Why would I pay somebody $100 or $150 or $80, or whatever it is that you pay a cleaner, like, on the size of your house. I can do that cleaning myself. So, you know, it's like valuing that money in the bank over having a clean home. Now, and again, there's been times in my life where I've just had to do it myself, right, like that money has been used to pay for other things. But, you know, I work, I have kids, my partner works. And we were just working around the clock, you know, like it would get to the weekend, and we would spend the weekend just cleaning the house, getting ready for the next week, like cooking meals, preparing things, and we basically just weren't having a life because we were, you know, keeping that money in the bank, instead of putting it on a cleaner.

 

21:13

Now, since we got a cleaner, life changing. Oh my gosh, it's made such a difference to the quality of our life. Because one, we are not spending Saturdays like chooks with our heads cut off, running around trying to maintain our home and create a clean environment to live in. We're not barking at the kids, 'Put this away, do this, do that.' Because we have time and space to rest. We have time and space to go out and do family activities. We have time and space to concentrate on - like I work from home, so I'm not spending time in the day cleaning the house, I'm actually working on my business, creating more income. So it seems like a very small investment to make paying, how much do we pay, $120 I think, for a cleaner. That $120, you know, I could have that money in the bank, or I could prioritise my own health and wellbeing and let that money go out into the world, let that money go on the value of somebody coming in and cleaning my house really thoroughly, and me not having to do that.

 

22:33

It's not only just having a clean house, but it's the ripple effect beyond that. It's the relationship that I have with my family that now on a Saturday morning, we just like, relax. We get up and the kids watch a bit of TV, sometimes I read my book in bed, you know, or watch a training video or go out for a walk. We've got the whole day, on the weekends, when we can go and do stuff because we're not spending, you know, half the day cleaning the house. The implications on our whole life are massive. And yet we can get so myopic about, 'Oh well, you know, I could be investing that money.' Right? Looking at the financial side of it, like just the monetary gain. But we're forgetting about the gain of the relationship I have with my children. I'm not yelling at them or barking at them to clean up on the weekend because I'm stressed because actually I want to break. Right? The relationship I have with my partner because we're not getting shitty at each other because we're both sort of like, oh, well, I'm doing this and well, yeah, but I'm doing this, you know, that sort of thing that happens when you feel like you're doing all this work around the house, like that hidden stuff where both parties feel like they're doing stuff and you just end up arguing with your partner. There's none of that.

 

24:04

And quite frankly, that is a bazillion times more valuable than having an extra 120 bucks in the bank. Right? Can you see that? Can you see how powerful it can be when we actually prioritise our own health and wellbeing over money. It is life-changing stuff. And so many of us do it, we just prioritise money point blank, like that's it, that's the highest priority. Like I'm going to work myself to the bone, right, for the sake of having money in the bank. That's what so many of us do.

 

24:48

And there's a bigger picture here, right? Yes, I'm all for saving money. I'm all for having the capacity to have more money. I'm all for, you know, not just spending all your money, or spending more than you earn. But this is about like when you have the money to buy what you want and need, to create, like the support that you need in your life, and yet you're not, because you're prioritising money over your health and wellbeing.

 

25:25

Really, what you can do with this is just be willing to look at your relationship with money. Just like take everything in that I said today and just be open, just be willing to look at it. Nothing has to change. You don't have to do anything from what I've just said. But I'm inviting you to really look at, are you prioritising money over your health and wellbeing. Because magical things happen when you look after yourself. Magical things happen when we actually value our own health and wellbeing. And the irony of all of this is, the more I look after myself, the more I really value my wellbeing, the more money I make. I mean, isn't that an amazing thing?

 

26:23

Being able to freely let go of the money, like let the money go out of my bank account, to look after myself, it frees up so much attention, because we use up so much attention every day, because we're in struggle mode. Like we're just trying to survive, like we're trying to keep the house clean, we're, you know, trying to remember to do the gym workout at home, which just feels like so hard to stay motivated. And, you know, I wonder what that would look like, if you just - I mean, these are just examples - but what might it look like if you just paid to have a personal trainer, or paid to go to the gym, or paid to have a cleaner, or paid to like, invest in a coach like someone to support you and help you create what you actually want in your life because you haven't been able to do it yourself? Because if you were able to do it yourself, you would have done it by now, right? Or, you know, investing in that top quality dental floss. Because, dammit, you deserve to have good dental care, right? For the sake of a few extra dollars.

 

27:37

So I'm going to leave you on that note. Are you prioritising money over your health and wellbeing? Because if you are, I invite you to just explore this a little bit and just be open to, 'Is that what I want to do?' Like, are those dollars in the bank creating peace and wellbeing for you? Right? And what is the ripple effect, like what is the impact of when you do spend that money? I've driven our brand new car a few times, since we got it, and oh my gosh, it's just so much easier. It's so comfortable. I don't have any anxiety or stress when I'm getting in and driving the car.

 

28:34

And I just think why did I do that to myself? It just seems so silly now, like oh my goodness, you know, it's not like my partner and I are two students struggling to get by. But we were behaving like we were, like trying to hold on to every penny and putting ourselves through high stress and anxiety by prioritising having money in the bank over actually buying a new car, something that we use all the time and our family, like our children, sit in the backseat and my precious dog and my precious self and my precious partner. I think that's actually worth spending the money on. Right? And I do value our health and safety and wellbeing more than I value having the money in the bank that is the amount of that car, right. And it's kind of really sobering and really eye-opening to really think about this stuff. You know, like, how are you treating yourself? Right? Like it's great to save money. I'm all for it. I'm all about it. I love saving money, and I love using money to invest. But I also love myself and my health and my wellbeing, and you know what? That is 10 bazillion times more important than having some dollars in the bank.

 

30:03

So I'm going to leave you on that note. Until I speak to you again next week, have an amazing week. And if you want to explore this work deeper with me, and you want help with that, and you want a coach, somebody who can be in your corner and support you so you don't have to struggle through with what you're struggling with right now, that you don't have to do it alone, you can have someone on your side, in your corner. Reach out to me, the best way to do that is going to the website, book a consult so we can actually meet, we're going to spend one hour together and connect and get to know each other and see if we are a really good fit to work together. Alright, have an amazing week. Bye bye.