I was listening to a coaching call recently and the women getting coached had just inherited a sum of money. Now you wouldn’t think there would be any reason to have a problem with this but in this case she did. She had no idea what to do with the money. She expressed worry and fear about not knowing how to use the money correctly or know exactly what she should use it for. Dealing with a large sum of money felt foreign to her and she was afraid she would do the wrong thing and lose it all.
The problem this woman had is the same issue that many of us have without even realising it. The problem is: she does not have the capacity to have money. Unfortunately, because of unintentional indoctrination from what we learn growing up many of us have this same issue and don’t even know it. We get money, we spend money. We get money and we find something to do with it straight away. We don’t hold onto money.
If fact I was just chatting with a client recently who got a notification that she was getting about $1000 dollar back on her tax. She confessed to me that she had already spent the money in her mind. She already knew exactly what she wanted to buy with that money. How often have you thought about what you will spend your money on before you even have it?
This is what so many of us do. We receive money and then we try to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Have you ever heard of lifestyle creep? It’s when your expenses grow in line with your income. You get a raise but somehow at the end of the pay cycle you don’t seem to have any addition funds left over despite getting an increase in income. You have some extra cash so you decide to get your nails done instead of doing it yourself like you usually do. Or suddenly you notice your car is a bit shabby compared to everyone else’s in the work carpark so you think – “I have this extra cash, now I can spend it on a new car” or new ‘you fill in the blank’. Money can be like time. Unless we get really intentional. We always use up what we have.
If you are starting to think you don’t have the capacity to have money; don’t be too hard on yourself. We currently live in a consumer society. And the problem is that our brain likes to be efficient. Once we have learnt something our brains repeats what we have learnt on auto pilot. You know that feeling when you get home from work and you can’t even remember the drive home. We are conditioned to buy, buy, buy. Consume, consume, consume.
It’s all very well to increase your income but to create wealth or monetary abundance in your life you have to develop the capacity to have money. You have to know how to be a good custodian of money.
Money likes to be in a responsible container. Money works for you when it is respected and cared for. Money will create more money for you if you put it to work.
How do you know if you have the capacity to have money?
You can ask yourself these questions:
If you suddenly came into a large sum of money would you know what to do with it?
Do you have accounts set up to hold large amounts of money?
Can you hold money in your purse without spending it?
Can you actually receive money? If someone offers to pay for you or give you money for something do you try to object or reject the offer?
Not having the capacity to have money is why so many lottery winners end up losing it all. They don’t have the capacity to have it without spending it. They don’t know how to put money to work or just be at peace having it.
So, they spend it all. And there is apparently research that has been done on this where in some cases lottery winner end up financially worse after a period of time.
If you won a million dollars in the lottery next week would you know what to do with that money. If someone gave you a $1000 would you spend it straight away or do you have the space to have that money? Can you keep it in your bank account or in your wallet?
How do you cultivate the capacity to have money?
Here is how. You have to start practising having money. Can you keep a hundred dollar note in your wallet without spending it? Can you save a portion of your income? Start by practicing just that. Practise having an amount of money in your purse without spending it. Practise keeping money in your bank account. Practise holding the space for money. If you do not have a savings account or an emergency fund? I suggest now is the time to create one of these and practise holding the space for some of your income. If you are well trained at spending all your money and you feel like it is very challenging for you not to spend all your money. Just practise with a small amount. Whatever that looks like for you.
Then over time increase that amount. Don’t mistake this as a form of frugality where we are afraid to spend money. The object here is not to never spend any money. The objective here is to learn to be a responsible custodian of your money. Tend and care for your money from an abundance energy of having. Practise having money and be at peace with it. Practise having sums of money that you don’t have to spend.
This is the key to abundance. Abundance creates more abundance. When we are in lack and scarcity, the irony is that we will spend more money because we believe we don’t have enough and therefore go and buy the things that we supposedly need to fulfil that feeling of lack.
Once you are able to hold the space for money and have it without spending it all; the next level is to learn how you can put that money to work. This is about learning how to invest your money. Learning how to increase your net worth. Learning how to use that money in a purposeful way. Now for you, that might simply look like having 12 months income in an emergency fund or maybe it is setting up passive income for your retirement. There is no specific way that is the correct way.
By doing this it means you are inviting money into your life. You are not repelling money. You know that you can receive large sums of money because you know what to do with it. You can receive an inheritance and not be afraid that you will lose it all because you know how to responsible care for money.
I want to finish on a final note. Because I know some of you are going to jump to- I don’t know land or it is too hard.
Making money and caring for money is 100% learnable. Don’t kid yourself into believing you can’t be responsible with money. Did you use to drink as a young adult and get hammered and have a hangover for days and barely be capable of looking after yourself? Yep! That was me I have my hand up. Did I then grow up and become a parent and learn how to care for two tiny humans? Yes, I did.
Parenting is 100% learnable and so many of us do it. Money is not nearly as complicated as tiny humans. If you can care for a child you can care for money. Full stop. Don’t try to lie to yourself that you can’t because it is complete BS.
And for those of you who don’t have kids just relate this to any other skill you have developed or anything you look after like a pet or a plant or yourself. 100% learnable and doable.
Cultivate the capacity to have money.
We are women.
We make money.
We make no excuses for it.
If this work is resonating with you and you would like to work with me on your money mindset. Uncover your money blocks and create new abundant results in your life email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I work with women who are ready to make change connect with their future self and want to create the extraordinary life they want to live on purpose.
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